Henriet's Blog

Noisy Neighbors?!

We had just climbed in bed and were talking about our day at the conference when she knocked on the door.  I looked at my husband--who was it? who knew us at this conference? should we answer? who should go?

As I was closest, I walked to the door and opened it a crack, peeking out at the woman on the doorstep. I'd seen her earlier in the day. "Yes?"

"Do either one of you snore?" Huh? It apparently was a serious question so I tried not to laugh. What was happening? She went on, "it sounds like someone is snoring right on the other side of the wall."

"We don't snore," I reassured her. She was not deterred. "It sounds like it is right on the other side of the wall. Are you sure?"

"Well, we heard someone snoring last night on the other side of our room."

She looked incredulous. "You mean to tell me the noise is from two rooms over?"

I shrugged. "I don't know but I don't think we snore." She continued to lodge her complaint. "I've not slept for three nights. They can't find another room for me." I listened politely and nodded at the right moments. She closed the conversation by saying, "You're sure you don't snore? Well, I guess I can handle it for one more night." And off she went.

I closed the door, turned to my husband and we both started laughing--quietly. She was on the other side of the wall after all. I went back to bed. We whispered to each other, "even if we did snore, what did she want us to do about it?" We laughed again, very quietly.

My husband tells me he prodded me twice as I snored lightly just after falling asleep. Apparently, I slept soundlessly the rest of the night.

What do you think she wanted us to do? What would you have done?

You Name It...

Happy Friday!

For the end of this week I'd like to invite you to come up with a caption for one of these  photos (or both).

Perfect?!

On Monday, April 16, I talked about why intentional mediocrity is a sin. The post ended with 2 Corinthians 13:11 "Aim for perfection, listen to my appeal, be of one mind, live in peace. And the God of love and peace will be with you." My question was, "What kind of perfection is this verse talking about?"

Does the Bible claim that we have to be perfect? Yes and no. The Bible is not talking about perfectionism. It does talk about being perfect as God, our Heavenly Father, is perfect--a tall order I think. More on that at a later time.

In this verse, "Aim for perfection" really speaks of restoration. The Apostle Paul is saying, strive for restoration, live in unity and peace. This peace is more than absence of war, it is 'shalom'. Shalom carries with it the concept of wholeness and well-being. Restoration aims for wholeness and well-being, restoring the person or relationship to wholeness.

The verse concludes with, "And the God of love and peace be with you." God is love (1 John 4:8) and God longs for restoration. Why else would He have sent Jesus!?

In light of last week and the turmoil caused by a young man whose aim was the opposite of restoration, I think this verse offers us hope and a blueprint for living. Following Paul's advice might lead to a better world for all of us. Thoughts?

Have I Changed?

Many lives were shattered a week ago today. Prayer Vigil held at Virginia Tech

Last Wednesday, I talked about my responsibility as a member of the community in light of this tragedy. Have I changed my life? How have I responded?

It turns out that Seung-Hui Cho had people in his life who tried to reach out. He had a family that loved him. People had urged him to get help.

His roommates said that they tried to get him to interact with others—to no avail. Cho chose alienation.

I’m impressed by the statement issued by Sun-Kyung Cho, his sister, on behalf of herself and her family:

“On behalf of our family, we are so deeply sorry for the devastation my brother has caused. No words can express our sadness that 32 innocent people lost their lives this week in such a terrible, senseless tragedy. We are heartbroken.

We grieve alongside the families, the Virginia Tech community, our State of Virginia, and the rest of the nation. And, the world.

Every day since April 16, my father, mother and I pray for students…We pray for their families and loved ones who are experiencing so much excruciating grief. And we pray for those who were injured and for those whose lives are changed forever because of what they witnessed and experienced.

We are humbled by this darkness. We feel hopeless, helpless and lost. This is someone that I grew up with and loved. Now I feel like I didn't know this person.

We have always been a close, peaceful and loving family. My brother was quiet and reserved, yet struggled to fit in. We never could have envisioned that he was capable of so much violence.

Our family is so very sorry for my brother's unspeakable actions. It is a terrible tragedy for all of us.”

It seems like even when we try, we cannot always prevent tragedies. In retrospect there always appears to be lots of clues that someone should have noticed—just like after September 11. We want to blame someone or something, because it might make us feel safer. Yet these kinds of things still happen occassionally. Could it be that most of us just can’t imagine anyone choosing such horror in spite of history and circumstantial evidence?

At the beginning I asked how I had changed. I’m more aware of how connected we all are. I know people who know those who were there. I also asked, how I have responded?  I’m praying for those involved, the  families and those who are coping with the aftermath and fall out. Have you changed?

Left With A Question Mark

The tragedy of the VT massacre leaves me stunned. A 23-year-old originally from South Korea made horrific choices. Professors had noticed that he was troubled and referred him to counseling. He did not go and they could not make him. In these tragedies I think most of us wonder how this happens. My questions usually are how did this person end up this way? And, what is my responsibility?

I've never been to Virginia or South Korea. Therefore, it appears that I don't have any responsibility in this situation. Yet as a member of the community do I have a responsibility? How many quiet loners are there in my community? How many people dealing with depression needing a friend?

Reports said that Cho Seung-Hui, 23, had made it through nearly four years of college without making a friend. To some he was only known as "the question mark kid" because he had signed in only using a question mark instead of his name. Can you imagine living that way?

To be clear, what Cho did was horrible and my condolences go out to the families of the victims.

Missed It By That Much

One definition of sin is missing the mark. When we are intentionally aiming for mediocrity we're missing the mark of excellence. 

Why is deliberate mediocrity a sin?

One way to look at it is that it violates or dishonors our design. Genesis 1:27 tells us that we are created in God's image. God is perfect. Aiming for less violates the design. For example, if someone is fast and joins a track team but runs average, it hurts the team and the runner dishonors his design. Here's what James, Jesus' brother, wrote about not doing what you know is right: "Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins" (James 4:17).

When we claim family rights in God's family we should bring honor to the family name. 1 Corinthians 10:31 tells us: "So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God." It doesn't stop at eating and drinking. The Apostle Paul wrote, "whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord" (Colossians 3:23).

Finally, consider 2 Corinthians 13:11 "Aim for perfection, listen to my appeal, be of one mind, live in peace. And the God of love and peace will be with you." What kind of perfection is this verse talking about?

Practicing Greatness

In this book, Reggie McNeal starts the introduction with the following quote from Dr. Elton Trueblood: "Deliberate mediocrity is a sin." Do you agree? What does that mean to you? Read my response Monday.

Serving Up Easter

For me Easter means remembering the truth about the resurrection of Jesus, going to church and enjoying my family's traditional Easter brunch. Because I work at a church, brunch now is around 1 p.m.

Easter brunch is not at my house because I don't have what it takes. Oh, I can make brunch but I do not have the right dishes. You see, in my family, our tradition is to use my mom's special breakfast china.  She received them from her aunt (who died in 1977 when she was in her 90's). However, my mom has had these dishes since I was little.

We only use them once a year--at Easter. These dishes hold great memories that date back to when I was 5. I prayed that God would wake me up early so that I could surprise my mom and set the table for Easter.  This was before we went to church regularly. God did wake me up, but after getting up I realized that the tablecloths were in my parents' bedroom. My mom is a light sleeper. I felt horrible. After going back to bed I apologized to God for bothering Him and not thinking it through.

My mom set the table that day and ever since. She told me yesterday that she almost didn't use the dishes but knew I would be terribly disappointed. She's right, I would have been.

How was your Easter? What did you do?

The Pilate Error?

Looking at the man and the situation, it appears that he had little or no choice. Looking at Pilate as the leader it becomes clear that he committed a huge error—I call it the Pilate Error.

Pilate lacked the basic flight plan for a leader—he exhibited weak character, low courage and shallow conviction. The choices of his life and leadership had culminated into this clash of circumstances.

Governor Pilate lacked the character to deliver a just verdict. His actions demonstrated his lack of integrity and values. He took no responsibility for the decision and absolved himself from blame. He did not base his judgment on the facts of the situation and was willing to bend the rules to suit his purposes by allowing an illegal beating.

Without courage, a leader will be tempted to ditch the tough calls and take right action. As a leader Pilate looked at the polls instead of taking his leadership pulse. He let the crowds drive the decision rather than basing it on principle. He wanted to keep everyone happy—Rome and the crowds. He led from fear and avoiding conflict.

Conviction would have led him to make the right call. Justice did not prevail—a convict was released and an innocent man killed. He did not stand on conviction. He did not do the right and hard thing. He took the easy way out.

Every leader will face a Pilate-type decision—with crowds pressing on one side, superiors on the other side. Leaders face issues of right and wrong conflicting with expedience and seemingly common sense. How do you choose? How do you get out?

Without character, courage and convictions Pilate had sealed his fate. He acted in the moment and was motivated by political expediency—or so it seems. When the issue lands on your tarmac you may not have enough information either. You may not know but you can be ready.

To lead well requires God-honoring convictions. A leader who does not operate on values risks trying to takeoff without a compass. Foolish at best and dangerous at worst. A leader needs to act out of a previously established set of moral guidelines. Do not make up moral code while taxiing down the runway of decisions.

What do you value in a leader?

Pilate Was Needed

Wednesday...Pilate's trouble is only two days away. The familiar story plays out. The Jewish leaders arrested Jesus, questioned him and found him guilty without real evidence. They desired to execute the man who caused them so much grief and inner turmoil.

To accomplish Jesus’ crucifixion they needed Pilate—a seemingly self-absorbed governor in an undesirable outpost of the Roman Empire—to authorize the execution. Judgment in Roman court was the sole responsibility of the imperial magistrate: Pontius Pilate. This same Pilate undoubtedly wanted to keep Caesar happy and needed to lower his crucifixion rate, which had been unreasonably high, enough so that Caesar received complaints about this governor.

At the time of this incident, he stayed in Jerusalem to prevent trouble from the large number of Jews assembled for the celebration. He was tolerant of Jewish ways – maybe because it was easier, maybe because one more riot might cost him his job or—his life. One way he kept the peace was by granting favors such as releasing a prisoner to the crowd.

On Friday morning an agitated group including many of the key leaders, their entourage, and Jesus arrived at Pilate’s headquarters. The time was about 6 or 7 am. The Jewish leaders used choice words to accuse Jesus, sure to rattle Pilate: We have found this man subverting our nation—turning the people against Rome. Secondly, he opposes payment of taxes to Caesar—insubordination. Thirdly, he claims to be Christ, a king—a political or military ruler that Rome would want to get rid of.

To ensure Pilate involved himself they slanted the accusation to look like treason. Pilate would not have cared if he knew that the issue at stake was one of blasphemy and religion. They counted on the fact that he did care about these three points: insurrection, opposing taxes and a challenge to the throne.

Jesus’ accusers knew that if they brought no Roman charge there would be no Roman trial. Without a Roman trial there could be no crucifixion. So they created charges that would cause Pilate to act or react.

It worked. Pilate took notice of this situation. As the ruler he was responsible and would be held accountable by Rome. His political career would not accommodate another riot. So he questioned Jesus but found no basis for the accusation.

The Jewish leaders insisted and focused on the civil unrest. They effectively used the governor’s desire for peace and order against him. They chose freedom for Barabbas who had caused civil unrest and was a murderer over Jesus.

Pilate tried to free Jesus but the agitated crowd grew more riotous and demanded a crucifixion, shouting ‘Crucify him, crucify him.’ Pilate tried again. He tried to stick to his decision and to calm the crowd by having Jesus flogged and then release him. But the shouts prevailed and Pilate granted their demand. He publicly washed his hands of the decision – he took no responsibility for the death of God’s son!