Henriet's Blog

Giving Jesus My Jealousy this Christmas

A passionate canine encounter

Belle the Boxer lathered our guest with love. She attempts to kiss those she likes. It's adorable and annoying. Max the Mastiff mix always tries to jump in, with an emphasis on jump. Max's participation and presence triggers Belle's jealousy. She worms herself in between Max and our guest(s). She gets swept up by jealousy and loses her natural joy. 

This happened again today. Our guest, a dog lover, embraced the canine attention with gusto. I appreciate people who can handle Belle and Max, our assertive people lovers! Although I was glad about the positive response to the doting dogs by our guest, Belle's jealousy bothered me. It always does. Jealousy looks ugly and unattractive.

"Oh no! Does God feel that way too?"

I abhor her jealousy. Suddenly a painful realization intruded my thoughts. "Oh no! God feels that way about my jealousy!" Of course we know God commands us not to envy (Exodus 20:17). I believe there's a reason: It's ugly and destructive. It also hurts God who loves us and it hurts God's people whom he loves. Jealousy is not good.

To be honest, I still struggle with jealousy and envy at times. I don't like feeling this way. Most of the time I choose to celebrate and am genuinely happy for someone's blessings but sometimes a pesky thought still occurs, "But what about me?" God's probably sad when I feel jealous of someone else's success, happiness or blessing. When I have those negative thoughts I've often asked myself, "Why do I feel this way? Or why can't I just be happy for them?" 

Enter Belle the Boxer. Seeing her jealousy helped me realize, in a new way, what jealousy looks like and how to combat it. In my opinion, her jealousy comes from a scarcity mentality. She lacked kindness and love in her previous life. Since we adopted her from Northwest Boxer Rescue, we've showered her with love and attention. Yet she still lives in this orphan or scarcity mentality. She always seems to fear she'll be left out or miss out. I always tell her, "There's enough love for everyone." 

There's enough love for everyone!

Exactly. This is God's word to me. He has enough love for everyone. How do we know? He sent His Son to die for our sins. He so loved the world that He gave…He gave himself (John 3:16). The Triune God is more than enough. His loves conquers all—it never fails. God showers His people with good gifts. Jesus is God's best gift to us all. And we're mere days from celebrating Jesus' birth. It's time for genuine generosity.

One of my gifts to Jesus this Christmas is accepting his love and spirit of generosity. I surrender my jealousy. His love is enough…more than enough.

Happy 97th Birthday, Billy Graham #BG97TH

Today Billy Graham turns 97! Happy Birthday, Billy. May God bless you today and always.

Thank you!

Billy Graham is the epitome of integrity—both in life and as a Christian. He loves God, has served faithfully, is leaving a great legacy, and through it all has remained humble.

His ministry affected me! In 1981, Billy held a crusade in San Jose, California at Spartan Stadium. My husband, Fred, and I went. My mom sang in the choir during the services. I was already a Christian but did not fully understand what being "saved" really meant. After Billy's talk, the choir sang "Just As I Am." I had no intention of going forward…but in a short while my heart was moved and my feet started moving. I went forward. Fred went too. We recommitted our lives to Christ. It was real. It was meaningful.

After recommitting to Christ, my life really changed. I grew rapidly in my relationship with Jesus. My desire was, and still is, to live for Him and have my life count and produce much fruit. The Billy Graham Crusade really was the beginning of a life lived in service to Jesus. All I can say is, Thank you!"

"Thank you, Billy Graham. Thank you for faithfully preaching the Gospel. Thank you for allowing God to use you to get a hold of me. May God bless you. Happy Birthday!" #BG97TH

Daily Living Like Jesus with Skin On

"To them God has chosen to make known among the Gentiles the glorious riches of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory."     Colossians 1:27. NIV

Blackaby: Discipleship is Christ in You

My friend Cindy and I think of living missionally as being Jesus with skin on. The word "missional" is overused and misunderstood. Henry Blackaby, in his Experiencing God Day-by-Day devotional on January 19, writes what it means to live this way. He states, "Discipleship is Christ in You." (I love Blackaby's devotional. He writes simultaneously concise, deep and simple. As an author, I consider communicating deep truths clearly in three paragraphs an admirable feat. Blackaby delivers daily...)

Letting Jesus Live and Love Through Me

God has chosen to place His Son, Jesus, in every believer. Jesus' life becomes our life. Discipleship, according to Blackaby, is "learning to give Jesus Christ total access to your life so He will live His life through you." It's the essence of missional living...Christ in us and through us.

Blackaby concludes: "God wants to reveal Himself to those around you by working mightily through you. He wants your family to see Christ in you each day. God wants to express His love through your life. There is a great difference between 'living the Christian life' and allowing Christ to live His life through you."

It's a life long challenge to learn to let Jesus be in charge of our lives and fully live through us. People don't need us to be nicer. They don't need more of us. We cannot bring people to a saving relationship with Jesus. Only the Holy Spirit can and he often does that through Jesus' life in us. Only when we live our life stories with Jesus at the helm, will we demonstrate Jesus' love and power. Only when Jesus lives in us can we be missional—Jesus with skin on.

Are we allowing Christ to live his life through us today? What would that look like in our specific context? What are the implications for our thoughts, words and actions? 

Genuine Christ-followers—Normal? No we're not!

A while back Susan, a friend in one of the women's leadership discipleship missional communities I co-lead, wrote an email commenting to the group that we're not like her other friends…we're not normal.

Thank God we're not normal!

After a lively exchange she sent the following reply:

No...WE are not normal.

nor·mal [nawr-muhl]

adjective

1.conforming to the standard or the common type; usual; regular

That is what I meant, when I said my other friends are 'normal', and that our missional community of women leaders are not.

We don't conform to the standard, regular way of living. We are trying to live our lives the way God has designed us to.

We live Designer Lives, rather than Fred Meyer Lives :)

Obeying the Apostle Peter's instructions

"As you come to him, a living stone rejected by men but in the sight of God chosen and precious, you yourselves like living stones are being built up as a spiritual house, to be a holy priesthood, to offer spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ. … But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light. Once you were not a people, but now you are God's people; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy."

1 Peter 2:4-5, 9-10, ESV

We are supposed to stand out as a spiritual house, a holy priesthood loving God, loving each other, and loving everyone around us. As his people we should not look normal!

Kathy, another woman in our missional community, wrote back, "Praise God that we are not normal and don't conform to this world. We are supposed to stand out, right? That's what we are being taught in this community."

How about you? Are you normal?

HT: Susan VN and Kathy D

Practical Forgiveness & Mercy: Give Thanks!

"And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body;
and be thankful."     Colossians 3:15, ESV

"...in everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus."     1 Thess. 5:18, NET

Struggling to Forgive

I had been fuming for days, weeks really. This one person just made me so mad. Everytime I thought about her I felt angry. Of course I know the Bible tells me to forgive and pray for my enemies. And I did pray for her: I prayed for her to be healed, saved, ... and for God to remove her from my life! 

One day, during my time with God, I asked him to tell me what to read. Matthew 5:7 popped into my thoughts. Eagerly I turned there and read,

"Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy." (ESV)

Instantly I knew this was about...her! I felt convicted and wrote in my journal, "Lord, please show me what it means practically." I looked up some verses on mercy and read, "I desire mercy, not sacrifice" in Matthew 12:7.

Now I was crying because of the turmoil between being so angry and hurt, and wanting to obey God. Through tears I wrote, "I don't want to, I don't want to! I am tired of her. I don't want to be used or get hurt again. You are asking a hard thing God. I really don't want her to be in my life Lord!" It occurred to me that my pride was in the way. God loves her. He invited me to set my anger and myself free through—forgiveness and mercy.

After some wrestling with myself and my faith, I told God, "OK I will...I am willing...I will obey! But what does it look like? We really don't interact. What does forgiveness and showing mercy mean practically? 

Please show me how to forgive and show mercy!

Through my friend Lynn God showed me the way. I told her the story during our Thursday morning The Story Lives group (a group discussing my book...very fun!). She commented that God won't answer the prayer to make her go away. She laughed and said, "she'll only be in your life more." We both laughed and I believed her because Lynn has some challenging folks in her life too. She shared, "God taught me to give thanks for them."

Curious by this statement I asked her to tell me more. She explained, "Well, I figure that if God placed these people in my life then they are a gift to me. He only allows people and things for my good. So, I thank God for the gift. With one person, I thanked him for showing me that I am not loving and patient."

Wow! That I can do. It is difficult but practical. I can thank God for "her" and for what she's brought to my life and how God is using her to grow me up. I can do that!

Showing mercy and forgiveness through thanksgiving

So I did. I thanked God all the way home (and since that day whenever I think of her). I thanked him for the good she brought to my family in the past and for the lessons he is teaching me. A couple of days later I ran into her and asked if we could talk. (God had told me to ask for forgiveness...he is really stretching me!!!) 

I told her I was sorry for how I had treated her. She responded well and then it happened...all the anger fell away. I actually cared for her and what she was going through. God healed my bitterness and anger through thanksgiving and forgiveness.

“We would worry less if we praised more. Thanksgiving is the enemy of discontent and dissatisfaction.” ~ Harry Ironside

 

Read more verses and quotes about giving thanks at What Christians Want to Know: http://www.whatchristianswanttoknow.com/thanksgiving-bible-verses-15-great-scripture-quotes/#ixzz2dlDu1Ayt

Related articles

Why Forgive?

Forgiveness

The Ability to Forgive

Honesty: Do People Really Value Truth Telling?

An article on the Harvard Business Review Blog entitled, "Do People Really Want You to Be Honest?" led me to think about truth telling. What's your first reaction when you think about telling the truth? Do you tell the truth? Do you like it when others tell the truth?

My first thought was that most people really do not like it when you tell the truth. The people in the article tell a white lie supposedly to protect someone else. Eventually they tell the truth and in this story everyone feels better. Is that always the case? There were times when I told the truth and it was not appreciated! Maybe I could have been gentler although in the situations I thought about I remember being very careful... and kind! Regardless of great the delivery, people do not always want to hear the truth. Sometimes the truth is unpleasant. Is that a reason to accept dishonesty?

Why should we tell the truth?

In my full-blown people pleasing years, I often managed the truth so that it would be more palatable. I believed the lie that I did not like hurting other people's feelings. That may have been true at some level. However, underneath this magnanimous gesture played the real story, which is that I don't like how I feel when I think that my words or choices may hurt someone else's feelings. What I am really doing is avoiding hurting my own feelings. Warped, right?!

Telling the truth started to matter to me!

In recent years I've dealt with bunches of teenagers. My word to them always was that I cared far less about what they were up to and much more about their honesty. Many times I would choose to believe them only to find out I had been lied to. This only made me more insistent on truth telling. Why? Trust depends on honesty. And good relationships depend on trust. We cannot get anywhere or grow in our love for, or relationship with, each other if we are not honest. Is that what God had in mind?

Honesty for relationship

God thought telling the truth was important enough to put in the Ten Commandments. The ninth commandment tells us,

“You shall not give false testimony against your neighbor." Exodus 20:16, NIV

It is listed among the five commandments that govern community relationships. No group of people can live in harmony and peace without trust and honesty. We tell the truth because we value relationships, trust and community. Even when the truth hurts.

How should we tell the truth? In love! That's what the Apostle Paul tells us to do in Ephesians 4:15. Or as The Message puts it, "God wants us to grow up, to know the whole truth and tell it in love—like Christ in everything."

Joyful in hope, faithful in prayer

As February rapidly comes to a close, I am surprised at how fast this year is going and how much has happened!

Difficulties everywhere

From the unrest and riots in Egypt, Tunisia, Lybia and other places (including Wisconsin!), to the continued economic difficulties for many people, to the intense weather and natural disasters, to the ongoing tests in my own life - things are not like they used to be.

Sometimes I long for those "good old" days, but not too often. Sure, for me things were easier financially, personally and in ministry work but God has grown me and shown me so much since then…I don't want to go back.

Things learned

Here is what I know:

• God is good
• He is faithful
• Jesus is who he says he is
• He wants a real relationship with each of us
• The Holy Spirit is powerful and active

Hope is real

I have hope in the midst of my circumstances. I know God will provide, protect and bring about his perfect plans for me. Semper Vita will happen (soon!). A few days ago, I found a piece of paper with the following verse on it: 

"Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer." Romans 12:12, NIV

When I wrote this verse down it was as a reminder to me to let God keep working on me to become this kind of person. He has allowed trials and affliction in my life since then.

As I read the verse this time, I no longer felt the pang of conviction that I used to feel - that conviction that I had a long way to go before I could honestly read and agree with those words. Over these past years God has grown me to rejoice in hope in the midst of trials, to be patient in affliction, and faithful in prayer. My desire is to remain faithful in prayer with my hope in God and my eyes on Jesus.

Who is with me?

 

Changed and Being Changed (Part 1)

Conversion signifies change from one state to another or a change in character, form or function. It comes from the Latin conversio which means "a complete change."

Restored times two

Recently, I had the opportunity to restore a relationship with someone after a falling out. The young woman I met with was one of the teenagers that had lived at our house for a short time. Things had become tough and we parted ways...for a while. She wanted to make things right so we met for coffee. We had a great conversation.

On my way to meet with her, I prayed about the time together. I asked God what his plan was for the meeting. An interesting question came to mind, "Do you know Jesus or do you just know about him?"

So during our conversation I asked this young woman that question. This led to a conversation about who Jesus is. I explained that God desires to give us life and peace but that we are all by nature separated from God. This separation is because of sin...we all do it. We sense this separation and every one of us attempts to reach God in our own way. None of it works. God provides the only way - Jesus. Everyone can come to God as a result of Jesus' sacrifice on the cross. No exclusiveness here! He paid the penalty for our sin and bridged the gap between God and people. How do we get in? Simple! Receive Jesus by personal invitation. How? Follow these steps:

1. Admit that you need help - this really means that you agree with God that you're a sinner
2. Be willing to turn (literally making a u-turn) from your sins
3. Believe that Jesus Christ died on the cross and rose from the grave
4. Invite Jesus through a simple prayer to come into your life and take control of it through the Holy Spirit.

So, she prayed the simple prayer found in Billy Graham's "Steps to Peace with God":

"Dear Lord Jesus,

I know that I am a sinner and need your forgiveness. I believe that you died for my sins. I want to turn from my sins. I now invite you to come into my heart and life. I want to trust and follow you as Lord and Savior.

In Jesus' name, Amen."

How amazing to be part of this change from one state to another. Have you ever experienced it? Will you share your story here?

Forgive - As I Have Been Forgiven

" ... and forgive us our sins, for we ourselves forgive everyone who is indebted to us." Luke 11:4, ESV

Did you forgive?

Recently, a friend asked if I had forgiven one of my former superiors. Though tempted to dismiss her question, I decided to listen carefully. This woman loves me and cares deeply about my spiritual well-being. As she spoke I considered her words. After the conversation, I prayed about what she said and I asked God to reveal the truth about the situation. And, he did.

I had been sure that I forgave my ex-boss. Now I wondered. As I thought about it and prayed for clarity, I realized that I had held on to a piece ... the piece that related to the pain I had experienced in a situation. I had felt hurt. And I feared that letting it go would mean that I might get hurt gain.

Letting go

I realized that this was about relational boundaries for me. Subconsciously, I had equated forgiving this person with the idea that I would open myself up to getting hurt again. You see, I like to restore relationships. And, sometimes I don't know how to reconcile and keep an appropriate guard up.

Once I saw the truth of this situation, and after much prayer, I chose to forgive - really forgive. Not just my ex-boss but others too. As a leader, I believe it is super important to live what we teach. I certainly encourage others to forgive. Now it was my turn. "Thanks friend! You helped me sort it out and let go."

How about you? Do you need to forgive someone? What's holding you back?

Choosing Trust And Not Fear Today

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3: 5-6, NIV

Fear comes so easy

Why is it that trusting God with the tough stuff of life is so hard and fear is so easy? I know, really KNOW, that God loves me. He knows me. He provides for me and protects me. He knows my today and my future. He has good plans for me. He works in all things for my good because I love him - that's what Romans 8:28 tells me. So, if God is for me, why am I still so easily afraid? It's mind boggling - really. I try not to lean on my own understanding, but I still try to figure it out.

I suspect it's about control. It's not easy to just trust God - even though he is absolutely trustworthy - and be totally out of control. Reality is that I am totally out of control. After all, control is an illusion. What do I control? Truly nothing.

Choosing trust today

Today, as I spent time with God, I recommitted myself to trust and faith. It's about Jesus. It's about today. I just need to trust him today. I will choose to follow him today. I will take up his yoke today. And I will believe that he will keep me today. We will deal with tomorrow...tomorrow.

How will I accomplish this? Not by might or by power but by God's Spirit...as the verse in Zechariah 4:6 states.